Currently Reading Paradise Lost (Penguin Classics) By John Milton, John Leonard see related

Man, oh Man!

Happy Cancellation today, to most!

Its been forever since I've written, I know.  It's become quite a bad habit of forgetting to post my encouragements!  But hey, senior year, I'm really busy and stuff (yea I really am, I promise!  ).  So, here are some of my latest thoughts and reflections.

Sometimes I am so dumb...  Thats all there is to it.  I get on these little trips of thinking that I am doing so great and I am, but I keep disregarding one area of life that might not be so great.  Sometimes I even find myself bargaining with God.  I say, "God, you know, since I really was encouraging to so and so and I did this, this and this, do you think you could let me just screw up here or be impure here?"  !  What?  Yea, I know, sometimes we are so ignorant.  But lately I have really been focusing on my faith and trusting in God with my future, AND MY PRESENT, but I keep disregarding my purity.  Man, guys, even girls, we struggle with this purity thing so much, especially as teenagers surrounded by a mass production of sex and pleasure and impure pictures.

It's disgusting.  Utterly horrible.

But, over and over, I find myself in this mindset of impure thoughts about all these different things, and I start to allow them to become okay. 

Like I said, sometimes I am so dumb.

So anyways, I came across this verse, for like the millionth time the other night.  You know how you read a verse over and over, then one time, it just hits you?  Well this was one of those moments!

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

Man.  I dont need all those impure thoughts to keep me company all day and all night.  I dont need those temptations to take ahold of me.  God is faithful.  He provides all the pleasure and passion I need, not some lonely thoughts of mine.

"Lord, thank you for your amazing faithfulness.  Thank you for your constant mercy in my life.  So many times I find myself asking you for a system of check and balances, trying to weigh the good with the bad.  But Lord, thank you for showing me that You are all I need.  You are my Conquerer, my Faithful friend, my Passion, my Heart, my Strength, my Sword and my Sheild.  You are the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me.  It's not about all these feelings with you God, its about the passion that You give me for life.  Lord, you are my greatest friend ever.  Thanks for that!"

Sometimes I think I am so mature.

Whatever fool.

Also, this week has been so great for amazing conversations with friends.  I have been so encouraged by others this week, its unbelieveable.  I love it. 

You know, I am not here for myself.  I am here for God.  I am here for Carroll High School, I am here for my lost friends who are leaving to hopeless colleges next year, I am here for the lost kid in a locker next to me, I am here for my neighbor whom I take for granted, I am here for a brother who has wandered off this road.

I am sick of being selfish. 

"Lord, you are so great!  You are so amazing and wonderful and beautiful.  The path you have laid in front of my feet is rough and treacherous, but each day you show me how to give up everything to you.  Thanks for that!"

I want less of me and more of Him.

-Grant

Currently Reading Dream Giver: Following Your God-Given Destiny By Bruce Wilkinson, David Kopp see related

 Hey there....

Ummm....   it's been awhile. 

So, HAPPY WINTER BREAK, MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY NEW YEAR, HAPPY 2-HOUR DELAYS, HAPPY FINALS WEEKS, ECT, ECT.

Hahaha.... sorry it's been forever.... I dont remember why I havent written for awhile... I have been journaling alot in my journal, and I can never seem to find the time to just write it onto here... But I'm back!

Happy Sunday!  What a great day! 

I guess what I want to do is just write about God has been doing in my life lately.  I have been convicted of alot of things lately, and alot in my life is changing and changing!  God is so awesome and He never ceases to make me uncomfortable.  I love it, I love it!  These past weeks have been just a great time for me to really focus on the changes I have to make in my life in order to really give Christ my everything and hold nothing back. 

So, here's the rundown:

1)  Lights Out Youth Group Winter Retreat '03/'04..      2)  Quit the job (oh no...  unemployment... ahhh..)          

The Winter Retreat (my 5th one) was amazing... whenever teens who are longing for a stress free worship time get together, you know that God is there.  God showed me so much through the retreat...  God is so merciful and forgiving and amazing and loving and FUN!  God is so fun!  I  dont remember ever laughing so much with God in my life.  God makes everything possible, and I love it!  YES!  Hahaha...  There was one point during the worship, that God just showed me so much... the entire day I had been praying for God to show me what changes I needed to make.... all of a sudden, right there during worship, God showed me everything....  I was singing and I turned around and put my mic down..   I didnt care if I was supposed to be leading worship... God was speaking to me.... I just turned around and prayed and worshipped... It was just Him and me....   I love God...  He knocks me off my feet.... 

Lord, thanks for everything.  Thank you for providing me with Your Word.  Thank you for being so much fun.  You are!  I laugh more with you than I do with anyone.  Thank you for showing me what I had to do to focus more on you.  Thank you for leading me towards the friends I have right now.  Help me to be a great impact on each of them.  Help me to have an encouraging spirit.

Oh Lord, You're beautiful, You're face is all I seek, and when You're eyes, are on this child, your grace abounds to me...

I love you God!

And I love you guys!

Now send me somma dat encouragment...

Hahaha.... YES!

-Grant

Idea for the day:  Sing, all day long, every minute, praises to God!  YES!  (Wanna see people at the mall look at you weird?  Then just do that!)  Haha

Currently Playing MTV Unplugged No. 2.0 By Lauryn Hill Freedom Time see related

Okay... forgive me.... I know it has been about a week and a half since my last confession (haha, i love that!)... just kidding, but since it has been so long, I will just ease back into this whole blogging thing and just write whatever comes to mind... stick around, hopefully it will be worth it!

SO HAPPY WEDNESDAY!  Just two more days kids, til that "oh so needed" break.

Life has been this up and down battle most recently.  I feel as though for every three steps forward I take a million steps back.  The reason I didnt post this past week was because of my constant drama and indecisiveness about things.  Darnit, God, you are so confusing sometimes.  Oh, my human nature...

So I was thinking this last week of how comfortable I was becoming in my drama-free life and how amazed I was at my own victories.  YEA RIGHT.  Sometimes I think that God must look at me and laugh.  Anyway, last week was such a blur.  Between the insanely emotional fights with the fam to the up and down battles with friends, I felt as if it would never end.  I am such a fool sometimes.  You know whats funny, I only opened my Bible once that whole week.  It just goes to show...

So I began to get over all that crap at the beginning of this week and I did some heavy thinking.  Really heavy.  I mean, besides the 12 essay I wrote for english (grr.. dont even get me started...) I thought for every minute of the day.  Or maybe I shouldnt say thought.  I "REFLECTED".  I learned so many things and I am so thankful.

It seems as though everytime God brings me to these problems it is as if he is a parent, directing the child on how to swim or something of that nature.  "Okay, here Grant, I will push you out a little bit and let's just see what you are going to do.  Remember, if you need me, just call my name and I will hold you up."  Sometimes my ignorance gets in the way of my asking for help.  But anyways, God gives me these trials, and up until now, I took no joy in them.  The Bible tells us that with every coming trial we should have a joyful spirit, but for real, I was so mad... 

But during my reflections, so many things happened.  God snatched me up on Sunday night and I all of a sudden realized what has been going so wrong.  I am so selfish in all of my ways... I mean, from my encouragement to my friends to my worldly objects to my desires... I am think I am so smart sometimes .  Yea....  right!   I had this conversation with one of my greatest friends.  It might have been an arguement.  It doesnt really matter.  Anyways, by the end of the talk I had this amazing feeling.  I told him, "Hey, thanks for acting as a mirror."  I mean, in everything I was yelling at him about, I wasnt really yelling at him, I was yelling at myself.

Man, am I weird or is this normal? 

Anyways, so now this week I have been trying to return to that innocence that I had once held so dear.  Some say that you lose it and never regain it, but Lord, I know you want me to be like a child. 

Lord, I just want to thank you for your honesty with me and my life.  Thank you for the constant victories that you give me, all by the grace of your hand.. Thank you for the guidance that you give me everyday.  Change me and make me more pleasing to you!

The other night I laughed myself to sleep, thinking of all those past memories of winter retreats and friends and sleepovers.  None of those could ever have been possible without God.

God is so FUN!  He is so fun.  I love that. 

God, you are my greatest of friends.  I love you!

Thanks for sticking around for the ending.  Send me somma that encouragement.  Holla back.

-Grant

Idea for the day:  Release all of the negativity inside of you through prayer and reflection, and open up to the positive message that God is sending your way...

Currently Playing Snowed in By Hanson see related

I have something to post, but I am too emotionally unstable right now... be ready for a good one tomorrow....

I can feel God moving me....

-Grant

PS- I dont know why I am playing Hanson Christmas, but right now, I am in the mood....

Currently Playing Heart to Yours By Michelle Williams see related

Mid-Week!!!!

Nothing special, I'm just super busy....   check the last post out if you want something encouraging from me... today God moved me alot.

Tomorrow I think I am going to paint on a canvas...

-Grant